The Blues of Unemployment: Life-Changing Events

If we are unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, we may be subjected to a personal tsunami-a misfortune of catastrophic proportions that sweeps away our normal way of life and alters the world we know for the rest of our lives forever.

The fact is, despite the frequency of such events, which include tidal waves in Asia, hurricanes along the Gulf Coast, civilian casualties and property damage in the Middle East, wildfires and mudslides in California, the vast majority of us are only indirectly affected. We weep for those who have lost everything. We contribute what we can from our wallets and our emotions, but our world remains mostly untouched, and we continue on our own life journeys relatively undamaged by the events of September 11.

The great majority of us will never be subjected to the harrowing shock of a big tragedy, whether natural or man-made, in our lives. The sheer bulk of the human race protects millions of people from natural disasters such as floods, bombings, and general mayhem. The life-changing events that occur in our lives never make it to the front page of the newspaper. The silent tragedies of life-divorce, death, bankruptcy, or unemployment-alter the course of our lives forever, yet they are mostly ignored by everyone except our closest friends and family. We pick up the pieces and attempt to put ourselves back together without the assistance or backing of the government or the commercial sector.

It is the solitude that results from a personal loss that is so emotionally damaging. Each of us is struggling to make sense of what has happened and how we might regain our balance on our own terms.

The sympathy and goodwill of others is overwhelming, yet there is an enormous divide between those who have jobs and those who are unable to find work. For as long as we are unemployed, we feel more disconnected from society. Everyone, even those who care about us, begins to fear that there is something wrong with us. As a result, they begin to assume that we are not as driven as we seem to be. Everyone knows how to provide flippant advice: "Have you tried...?" Have you tried... " Yes, we have-many times and without result each and every time. Upon further consideration of all we have done, we come to realize that we have exhausted every possible option and have yet to come up with anything that is satisfactory.

We all experience periods of melancholy, rage, or crippling worry at some point in our lives. Our energy is depleted, and even the slightest activity becomes more and more difficult to do. Increasingly irritated and financially stressed, we wallow in the injustice of it all and recall how great everything was when we had a job, a future, and a sense of optimism, asking why it had to happen.

As is true in the case of storms, tsunamis, and terrorism, the victims are not to blame for the tragedy they are facing. Life-changing events do exactly what they say they will: they transform our lives, sometimes for the better. Change may be an unpleasant, fear-inducing, and excruciatingly painful experience. However, if we examine it closely, we will see that it also has a positive expression. Our present world would not exist if it were not for change. We would be living in the same manner as our forefathers and foremothers. And, while the past may appear appealing in its clean simplicity, such eras were plagued by sickness, inequity, and a raw cruelty that we could not bear in our modern world. Change must be welcomed and, despite the upheaval it causes, we must search for the silver lining that may be buried amid the storm clouds.

Despite the fact that you now look back on your previous employment with fondness, there were surely occasions when you wished you could have resigned. Even if you were passionate about what you were doing, any one job may only tap into a small portion of your total potential. Being compelled to make a change helps you to explore and develop other aspects of your particular character and personality.

Make an effort to pinpoint your passions and preferences, as well as items you would want to accomplish that have not been employed by your previous positions. Can you conceive of a specific sector or job title that might enable you to take a step in a different direction? Jobs in new sectors that you may be able to accomplish are something to think about, and you should conduct some preliminary research on them. You may not have previous job experience that is directly linked, but there are similar characteristics that run across all types of employment: the capacity to communicate effectively, to work as part of a team, to learn quickly, to be attentive to details, to organize and prioritize. If you choose a field in which you have a true personal passion, your enthusiasm will shine through clearly and naturally, and this is something that all employers look for.

It's possible that the job searching you've been doing has become regular and uninspiring without you even recognizing it. Failure and the aggravation of never obtaining good feedback may have resulted in you just "going through the motions," fully persuaded in your own mind of the futility of your efforts before you even started.

A change of direction may be necessary to get access to a job search tunnel. Instead of banging your head against the wall and going over every method and lead you've tried previously, relocating to a new setting may provide you with a renewed feeling of purpose and respect for your own abilities. That is when the beneficial consequences of forced transformation may be transformed into a new source of joy and satisfaction for the person who has experienced them.